Lessons In Loss

There isn’t much that’s artistic about this. It’s just how I really feel and what I really needed to say. Just because I Miss you Daddy.

Destroyed to my core in the very instant that you left,
I put on a brave face for the world and never really focused on myself.
Didn’t use any of those stolen moments to examine what affect losing you really had on me,
I kept busy with minor details until pain was something I refused to see.
It has taken me 2,355 days to realize how much this grief has kept me trapped,
And to realize that no matter how many tears I cry, not even God Himself is gonna give you back.
It’s been so hard for me to admit that pieces of me just wanted to cling to you and got trapped inside your coffin,
Even though the nightmares of my face being replaced with yours inside it came to me so often.
So many people told me back then that time would make this road easier, but 56,520 hours have passed and I STILL haven’t found that to be true,
And in my darkest hours I’ve seen that they buried so much of my heart and soul underneath that soil with you.
This though, has been a day filled with revelation and it hasn’t come a moment too late,
Because the woman I am today understands that for some of God’s greatest gifts we must patiently wait.
Daddy, God just spoke to me and told me to give Him every ounce of this load that hurts,
He also reminded me that before you were taken away, He loved me enough to bless me with you first.
He brought up all our adventures together, every powerful lesson I’ve learned,
And caught each one of my tears in His hand as He assured me that your rest is something you have earned.
He scolded me for apologizing for loving you so dearly and convinced me that was his intent when He introduced me to you,
And gave me word that you’re proud of who I am today and of the woman I am growing into.
He said that He agreed that some parts of me were buried the day we laid you to rest,
But that too was by His design and assured me that He knows best.
He showed me that the largest thing that I buried with you was the spirit of defeat,
And gave me example after example of how since I’ve lost you I continue to land on my feet.
He made me remember that I learned then that if I sought Him there was nothing I couldn’t overcome,
And that I’m continuing to run in this race because I’m being carried by His Son.
The thing that made me smile most was the last message He gave because I know in my heart that it’s true.
He said he understands that it is now 3,391,200 minutes later, but it’s OKAY if I still miss you.
I love you Daddy.
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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Maddy
    Aug 16, 2012 @ 05:03:52

    Love your verses!!

    Reply

  2. MLT
    Aug 16, 2012 @ 08:21:18

    Speechless…I love this

    Reply

  3. Nicholas Hopkins
    Aug 17, 2012 @ 13:17:39

    So POWERFULL!!!!

    Reply

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